Thursday, February 16, 2012

Never Wake Your Kids Up for Dance Class

If you wake your kids up for ballet, you will be late.

Once you're late, your son will decide to be impatient and whine until it's his turn to dance- even though his class isn't for another 20 minutes.
When you daughter's class is finally finished, your son will begin to cry at full throttle, because he does not have ballet shoes on. And because you used the bathroom.
When you put ballet shoes on him, and class begins, he will refuse to dance, and throw a tantrum instead.
When you take him out of class, he will apologize for the tantrum and ask sweetly to be taken back to class.
If you take him back into class, he will collapse into a mound of sobbing and yelling about horses.
If you take both kids out to the car to go home, you might lock your keys in your car.
If you call OnStar (a service you pay $24.95 a month for) to unlock your doors, their system might be down.
Since their system is down, and your 2 year old is locked in the car in his 5 point harness, OnStar will call 911 without your knowledge, and leave you alone on the line with dispatch.
If you still think you're talking to the OnStar lady, dispatch will think you're certifiable and may send two squad cars and a fire engine to the scene.
If the police show up, you may apologize profusely while they chuckle and try to break into your car.
During all of this, your husband WILL NOT ANSWER HIS PHONE.
If the police can't jimmy the lock on your car, your two year old will finally decide to begin to potty train, and inform you of his need to poop.
When the police leave, you will stand in 40-degree drizzling rain for another half an hour until your husband arrives with the second key.
After the doors are unlocked, and you are on your way home, you might find yourself pushing the OnStar button and saying things your children will probably repeat in preschool, and you might get a note home about them.

1 comment:

  1. Oh no! What a crazy adventure! Hope today is easier!