Friday, September 16, 2011

Part-time Single Parenting: The Beatitudes

Blessed are the ones who nap when the children are napping; For they shall have the energy to see the bottom of the laundry stack.

Blessed are the babysitters who come on short notice, and stay extra hours; They shall inherit the big bucks.

Blessed are the babysitters who deal with potty-training toddlers in swimsuits; They too, shall inherit the big bucks, if also smelly hands.

Blessed are the siblings who fight not when mommy is tired; They shall be rewarded with chocolate after dinner.

Blessed is he who returns early from the field and cleans the house; He shall obtain mercy from his exhausted wife.

Blessed also is the husband who sends flowers and housekeepers while out in the field; He will obtain the hot sex from his grateful wife upon his return.

Woe is the friend who brags about her helpful spouse/nanny/friends; Hers is the quiet phone.

Woe is the husband who forgets to call; His is the lonely couch.

Woe is the babysitter who quits without notice; Hers is the bad reference.

Woe unto you who passes judgement upon the parenting of the single mom; Yours is the world of pain and regret, when it is your head she bites off.